To Bridesmaids or Not to Bridesmaids: That is the Untraditional Question
This is one of those questions that comes up more than you’d think. More couples are skipping the traditional bridal party entirely, or doing something in between — one bridesmaid, no groomsmen, or just a “person of honour” who happens to be a man.
I don’t have a strong opinion on what you should do. I genuinely believe there’s no wrong answer. But I do have some thoughts from my perspective as a photographer, since the structure of your bridal party does affect the day — how portraits feel, how getting ready goes, what the ceremony looks like.
Here’s what I notice about weddings with bridesmaids: the morning usually has a particular energy. There’s a lot of people in a small space, someone’s curling iron is too hot, and someone else can’t find their shoes. It can be chaotic in a wonderful way, or it can be stressful in a less wonderful way — it really depends on the group dynamic. The photographs of those mornings are often some of my favourites. All that laughter and emotion and movement. But I won’t pretend it’s always calm.
Here’s what I notice about weddings without: the morning is quieter. There’s more space for the couple themselves to just be. For some people that feels like relief. For others it would feel lonely. Only you know which one you are.
A few things worth thinking through:
Do you actually want a wedding party, or do you feel like you should have one? There’s a difference, and it’s worth sitting with for a moment.
Do you have people in your life who want to do this? Bridesmaids who genuinely want to be there, who won’t find the experience stressful or expensive? Because a reluctant bridesmaid is nobody’s favourite thing.
What do you want the photographs to feel like? A group of people who love you standing together on your wedding day can be incredibly moving. Or it can feel performative if that’s not really your dynamic. I’ve seen both.
And practically: bridesmaids are useful. Someone to hold your bouquet, bustle your dress, bring you water, keep you calm. If you opt out of the formal structure, think about who will play those roles informally.
Ultimately I think the best weddings are the ones where the structure actually reflects the people getting married. Not the one that looks right on Pinterest. If bridesmaids feel like you, have them. If they don’t, don’t.
If you have questions about how this affects the photography side of things, I’m always happy to talk it through.
